Peaches and Aubergines © YouthBorders 2018 

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Session 4 Chloe and Steven

Following on from the night of the party, rumours have surfaced online about Chloe. 

How does she cope?  Do her friends support her?

 

Important to note that this is not about Chloe being gay – this is about the impact of online bullying, it’s incidental that what people are saying may have a grain of truth.  It shows lack of respect and lack of understanding and also homophobia.  How realistic is this? Does this happen? Why?

Now discuss the following issues in relation to what happened in the video and to your own personal experiences.

Body Image

Are there any body image issues here? Why?

 

Selfies – why do they take so many before putting one on social media? Why is it important to get the “right” selfie? What do you think about that?

Boundaries

What do you think about the boundaries that are shown here?

 

Chloe – yes but are they helping her? 

She has a strong sense of what people should and shouldn’t be saying but she is getting upset by it...what is this about?

 

Betty? Yes, she is clear about who she is and isn’t bothered as much BUT this could be because Chloe is questioning her sexual orientation and the comments have hit a nerve.  Think about the things that influence how we and other people react to things. We don’t know what’s going on for people. W e might think “they will be fine with this” but you never know.  It’s not about the intent of your actions it’s about how they are received by the “target”

 

Lack of boundaries of the people on social media – feel that they have a right to comment on stuff and not think about the consequences

 

It’s less about what she is being bullied about and more about how it impacts on her – what might her friends do to help? Why do people make comments like that online? Remember that some people might go along with the joke to appear ok about it but in private might feel a bit crap.  Have you done it? has it happened to you? I’m not asking for “hands up” but it’s worth just having a think about it.

 

Would people say this stuff in real life? Why do people say it on social media?

Communication

Social media... is it a good way to communicate? What are some of the limits on it, why do people communicate the way they do on social media? Is it all true or real? Why do you think people believe it?

 

Peer pressure

Perfect life

Appearances

FOMO (fear of missing out)

 

Is it a good way to build friendships?  What are good ways to get to know people?

Compassion

Who is showing compassion? 

How do you know? 

 

John shows some compassion.

Little compassion shown by her ‘best friend’ Betty.

Little compassion shown by the people commenting online.

Compromise

Are there any elements of compromise here? 

 

Or a lack of compromise? 

 

What makes you say that?

Confidence

What impact might the online bullying have on Chloe’s confidence? 

 

Or Betty’s? 

Why might they react differently? 

 

Some people are more resilient, everyone is different.

Consent  Consent in its broadest sense is permission for something to happen or agreement to do something

What do you think the consent issues are here?

 

There is something about personal control – thinking about what you share or comment, before you do it

 

Who is sharing stuff? Is this lack of consent? – “Who’s Billy?!” there are people who don’t know Chloe commenting on the post and sharing the picture – why do people do this do you think?

Emotion

Why is Chloe upset? 

What might happen to her? 

What might the impact of all this be on Chloe’s mental health?

 

What might Betty be feeling? 

Do you think Betty realises why Chloe is more upset than she is about it? 

Is it because she has been singled out twice?

 

Stephen says “everyone loves the drama” – why does he say this? 

Is it true? 

Why does everyone love the drama? 

Is it helpful?

Honesty

Why does Chloe ask Betty to lie?  

What are the consequences of that? 

What might have happened if they hadn’t lied? 

 

Should Chloe be honest with Betty about the way she feels about her?

What might happen if Chloe tells Betty she thinks she might be gay? 

Relationships

What kind of relationships do the different people have?

 

Chloe & Betty? (Betty ignores Chloe once Keith arrives at the start, why does she do that?)

Keith & Betty?

John & Keith?

Billy? John?

 

Think about trust, respect, honesty, communication, emotion and all the other factors – this starts to tie things up a bit for people.

Respect

What do you think about the respect, or lack of it, shown here by the different people?

Including those online.

 

Why do you think that?

 

What could people do to show respect?

Responsibilities

Online bullying? 

 

Trolling? 

 

Laws about this?

 

There is no specific law in the UK that makes cyber bullying illegal, but existing legislation to stop harassment or threatening behaviour can be applied to cases of cyber bullying.  In Scotland, there are a couple of laws which cover harassment: breach of the peace and crime of threats. There is also a Protection from Harassment Act, and ASBOs can be given under the Crime and Disorder Act.

Rights

Which rights are being affected here?

 

Which rights do you think are being affected here?

 

UNCRC Article 34: Nobody should touch you in ways that make you feel uncomfortable, unsafe of sad.  The Government should protect you from sexual abuse.  Nobody should do anything to your body that you do not want them to do, like touching you or taking pictures of you or making you say things you do not want to say.  If you have been harmed or abused then you should be able to get the help you need to recover.

 

UNCRC Article 8:  You have the right to an identity.

A child or young person's identity is made up of many different parts. Among other things, it includes:

  • their name and nationality

  • their race, culture, religion and language

  • their appearance, abilities, gender identity and sexual orientation.

 

Article 8 of the UNCRC is about a child or young person's name, nationality and family relationships. It says that the government shouldn't interfere with a child or young person's right to any of these. It also says the government should be able to help if any of these things are taken from them illegally.

In addition, this article says official records should be kept of who a child or young person is to make sure information about their name, nationality or birth parents isn't lost.

 

UNCRC Article 16:  You have the right to keep some things private.  Your letters, diary or phone calls should be private.  The law should protect you from attacks against you way of life, your good name, your family and your home.  Children’s Rights and Human rights also exist online.

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To view the charter in full click here.

Thoughtfulness

Are the people commenting on line showing any thought for what they are posting? 

What might they be thinking? 

Why do you think people behave like this?

 

If people come up with “banter” then why is this not ok? (homophobia = unacceptable) link to LGBT work in school / youth project / other setting.

 

Remind people that this could happen if Chloe was straight as well and may still have exactly the same impact on her emotional wellbeing.

Trust

Why do you think Chloe trusts Stephen?

 

What makes a good friend? 

 

What makes a good girlfriend or boyfriend? 

Are they the same kind of things?

Understanding

Does Betty understand why Chloe is upset? 

 

How do you know this?

Other Discussion Points

There are clear links to mental health and emotional wellbeing here – the impact that the quality of relationships and social media can have on young people.