Peaches and Aubergines © YouthBorders 2018 

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Session 3
Sammy and Grant

On the same night as the party Sammy goes to see her older boyfriend, Grant, at his flat.  

Keith interrupts them and gives Grant some bad relationship advice.  This illustrates the grey areas that surround relationships where age is a factor and also looks at how pornography and body image can effect a relationship.  

 

This is revisited in clip 5 when Sammy goes to see Julie (a youth worker) for some advice about contraception and taking the next step in her relationships with Grant.

 

Sammy and Grant have been in a relationship for three weeks.

Now discuss the following issues in relation to what happened in the video and to your own personal experiences.

Body Image

Pornography – impact of porn on body image for men and women.

 

Grant doesn’t have an image on his social media account - why might this be?

Boundaries

What boundaries are shown in the different endings?

 

Sammy – yes, very clear ones

Grant – he’s unsure of himself so probably not 

He’s 24, she’s 15...this is an opportunity to reiterate underage sexual activity guidance.

 

What are the consequences for Grant of not waiting until she’s 16?

Is this an appropriate relationship?  

Why do you think that...

Would you feel the same about the relationships if he was 16? 

If he was 18? 

Why? 

 

Additional info: Grant is quite immature and insecure, and is a virgin, does this change the way you think about it?

Communication

How does  Keith communicate with Grant? (showing off, lack of respect)

 

How do  Grant and Sammy communicate in the different endings?

 

How does Keith communicate with Sammy? 

(he totally ignores her)

 

Links to honesty, boundaries, respect.

Compassion

Who is showing compassion in the different endings? 

How do they do this? 

If you don’t think they do, how might it have been shown?

 

Additional info: Grant has some mental health issues.  Is there any way we might know this?

Compromise

How is compromise shown in each of the endings? 

 

How might things have been different?

Confidence

What are Keith, Grant and Sammy confident about? Why?

 

Is Keith confident? Or is it bravado?

Is Grant confident

Is Sammy confident?

Consent  Consent in its broadest sense is permission for something to happen or agreement to do something

How might porn impact on what people think consent is? 

 

Think back to the work we did when we watched clip 2 and talked about consent. 

 

How does Keith know Grant wants to see porn?

He doesn’t, he just assumes he does – is this a gender stereotype?

Emotion

Sammy is upset in the last ending – what has happened?

 

Grant is angry in ending 3 – why is he angry? Who is he angry with (himself? Keith? Sammy? 

 

What could he have done differently? 

Not believed Keith, asked Sammy what she wanted etc.

Honesty

What do you think Grant and Sammy have told each other? 

Why do you think that? 

 

How honest is Keith being?  

What makes you say that?

Think about the previous clips with Keith and Betty. 

Relationships

Who has a good relationship?

 

Grant and Keith?  Why?

Grant and Sammy? Why?

Keith and Sammy? Why?

 

Thinking about the last ending, how could that situation been avoided? 

Better communication skills, more honesty, less peer pressure, more compassion.

Respect

Is any respect demonstrated here? How and by who?

 

Does Grant respect Sammy? 

Does Sammy respect Grant? 

Does Keith respect either of them? 

He doesn’t acknowledge Sammy at all when he comes in.

 

Gender stereotypes – all girls are the same, they love it etc.

 

Grant says “Sammy’s different” when Keith says all girls are the same, they love it.  

He also says “it looks a bit cold” which shows he’s thinking about the emotion side of it as well as respect.

Responsibilities

Under the law what does Grant have the responsibility to do or not to do?

 

Consent for sexual activity, sharing of sexual images with someone under the age of 18

 

The age of consent, as we all know, is 16.  It does not follow that all sexual activity under this age is a cause for concern though. So if young people are thinking about having sex it’s important that they talk to someone about contraception – either condoms for boys or condoms and a long acting reversible contraceptive for girls, and whether they are ready for a sexual relationship. 

 

 Where would you go for condoms and for long acting reversible contraception (eg injection, coil)  Borders Sexual health (for Condoms and other contraception), Ccard (condoms only) – where can you go for Ccard? Where is the sexual health clinic?   

 

Notes on underage sexual activity:

Between 2010 and 2014 there was a significant decrease in the percentage of 15-year old girls who had ever had sexual intercourse from 35.4% to 27.4%.  For boys the percentage has dropped slightly from 26.9% to 24.4% over the same period.

 

Having sexual intercourse by age 15 is associated with poorer mental well-being and higher levels of risk behaviours

Rights

Which rights do you think are being affected here?

 

UNCRC Article 34: Nobody should touch you in ways that make you feel uncomfortable, unsafe of sad.  The Government should protect you from sexual abuse.  Nobody should do anything to your body that you do not want them to do, like touching you or taking pictures of you or making you say things you do not want to say.  If you have been harmed or abused then you should be able to get the help you need to recover.

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To view the charter in full click here.

Thoughtfulness

What shows that Grant is being thoughtful? (ending 1)

 

What shows that he isn’t? (ending 3)

Trust

Do they trust each other?

 

What makes you think that?

Understanding

Do Grant and Sammy understand each other? 

 

What makes you think that? 

 

They’ve only been going out for 3 weeks.