Peaches and Aubergines © YouthBorders 2018 

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Session 1

John and Chloe

Chloe and Betty have been at a party.  Betty is waiting for her boyfriend Keith to collect her.  When he arrives, Betty goes off, leaving Chloe to walk home by herself.

 

John is with his friends outside a shop, they start shouting at Chloe – John offers to walk her home.

 

John likes Chloe.  They have mutual friends but don’t know each other very well.

Watch the video and see what happens.

Now discuss the following issues in relation to what happened in the video and to your own personal experiences.

Body Image

The boys comment on Chloe’s bum, and her general appearance. 

This doesn’t necessarily impact on Chloe as she can’t hear them but what messages does this give generally do you think? 

 

Why do you think the boys do this?

Boundaries

Setting boundaries is important for our mental and physical health. By setting limits we protect our self esteem, maintain self respect, and enjoy healthy relationships.

 

It is important to set boundaries:

  • to practice self care and self respect

  • to communicate your needs in a relationship

  • to make time and space for positive interactions

  • to set limits in a relationship in a way that is healthy

 

who has set healthy boundaries? Why do you think that?

Communication

Do Betty and Chloe communicate effectively? Why doesn’t Chloe tell Betty she doesn’t want to be left alone? 

Why doesn’t Betty check Chloe is ok walking home alone?

 

How do the group of guys communicate? Why do people use Social Media? 

Is it a good way to communicate? 

Why are likes so important?

Compassion

Are the boys showing any compassion to either Chloe or John in any of the endings? 

 

What makes you say that?

Compromise

Do any of the endings show compromise?

Confidence

Is John confident? 

What makes you think that? 

 

Points for discussion - bravado; macho; trying to impress Chloe; not honest with his friends.

 

Is Chloe confident? Why do you think that?

 

Confidence to accept a no (for John) – see section on consent to expand upon this.

Consent  Consent in its broadest sense is permission for something to happen or agreement to do something

What do people think about John walking Chloe home even though she says “No”?  

Does Chloe want him to walk her home? 

Why does she say no? (is she just being polite?) 

 

Why doesn’t John explain why he wants to walk her home?

 

Also talk about rejection: how might John feel about Chloe saying no? 

How might he react? 

 

Talk about confidence to accept a “no.” 

 

Its not always about you and what you’ve done – respect that people have their own reasons for saying no.

 

Link to confidence & communication.  

Emotion

Chloe seems to be a bit upset – why might this be?

 

Possibly a bit fearful of the group of guys, fearful of John, annoyed that Betty has left her on her own. 

 

John is annoyed with his mates, and angry with them  in the last outcome – why might this be?

They aren’t treating him or Chloe with respect, they aren’t listening to him, they are behaving in a threatening way towards Chloe, they are being dishonest

Honesty

John listening to his mates talking about Chloe and says at the start “stop it boys, c’mon” then “leave this to me” when they ignore him – why do people think he changes his approach? 

 

Gender stereotypes? 

Not wanting to lose face with the boys? 

Why not just be honest? 

 

In the different endings his honesty changes.  Ending 1 he lies, ending 2 and 3 he is more honest.  

Why might he lie to his friends? 

 

Gender stereotypes? 

Lack of confidence? 

Not wanting to lose face with the boys? 

Why not just be honest?

Relationships

Peer pressure – John’s mates...he’s happy to speak up to a certain extent but doesn’t actually call them out outright – why might this be? 

 

What would you do if you were John and your mates behaved like that?

Respect

Do you think John’s friends respect him?

Do they respect Chloe? 

Why is that? 

(this will be slightly different in each ending)

 

When John and Chloe say goodbye, there is quite a distance between them – he appears respectful of her and doesn’t try to kiss her or touch her. Ending 3 “can’t have her seeing that...” “get that down...”this shows respect for Chloe and respect for John when his friends do so without hesitation

 

Use of language? “you and your bird” – is that respectful?

Responsibilities

Under the law what do the guys have the responsibility not to do?

 

The guys shouldn’t follow Chloe, sexually harass her or invade Chloe’s privacy by posting images of her on the internet without her permission. 

 

They should not behave in a way that makes Chloe feel unsafe.

Rights

Which rights do you think are affected here?

Chloe has the right to feel safe and have her privacy protected.

 

UNCRC (United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child) Article 16:  You have the right to keep some things private.  Your letters, diary or phone calls should be private.  The law should protect you from attacks against you way of life, your good name, your family and your home.

To view the charter in full click here.

Thoughtfulness

Chloe & Betty:  Betty goes off and leaves Chloe, is she a thoughtful friend?

 

Is John being thoughtful walking Chloe home? 

 

Why do you think that?

Trust

Why is trust important?

 

Is there trust shown here? 

Who by, what makes you think that?

Understanding

What do you think would happen if John was honest with his friends – would they understand? 

 

Does John understand why Chloe doesn’t want him to walk her home?

 

Does John understand that Chloe isn’t really interested? 

 

Does Chloe understand that John is trying to be a good guy?  

 

Do the other guys understand that it’s not OK to behave like that?

 

Do they show understanding of John’s concerns?  Why do you think this is?

Other discussion points

Does the fact that they have been drinking have any impact on their behaviour? What examples can you give?

 

What do you think of the stereotypes portrayed here? 

Young people in hoodies, hanging about outside the shop – how do you feel about the perception of young people in their communities? 

 

What could you do to change that?